Session 16, March 15 half way through

Session 16 March 15
I’m writing at 6:15 AM following a futile attempt to return to sleep beginning at about 5. This kind of early morning insomnia has plagued me off an on for years, coming and going with stress levels and sometimes for no apparent reason. It could be some of both just now I suppose. I did get up at 7 yesterday and went to co-facilitate a group on my day off. Doing the group wasn’t stressful but it was a significant change to my normally lazy Monday routine. It happened because it is hard to get relief on a Monday morning and we needed relief for the relief. Of course we just shifted to day light saving time as well and my body is convinced it is later than the clock indicates Yesterday’s treatment was unremarkable except the therapists told me I had gas again, not as much as before I changed my diet but more than the end of the week. I don’t have a clue why, maybe the couple of beers I drank over the weekend. I’ve also wondered if I have some less virulent version of the stomach flu Cherie is still recovering from since many of my digestive problems of late are similar but less severe.

Today I’ll have my 17th session and pass the half way mark. Inevitably I find myself reflecting a little on the impact of this radiation. Its one thing to be tolerating it well but the question of its impact on my PSA (aka cancer growth) remains to be seen and won’t be known for weeks. I’ll have a review today but as long as treatment goes without complication there isn’t much to talk about. Sunday I had a disturbing conversation with a friend about a friend of his who has been taking hormone suppressants, post radiation. This man, whom I don’t know and who lives elsewhere apparently experienced memory loss and internal bleeding from the treatment, something I did not suffer 7 years ago when I took them. I did not recognize the product name and it may be something quite different. Still it does make me uneasy because it’s been suggested to me that I may have to go back on hormone suppressants. What I remember is the post menopausal physiology, puffiness, hot flashes and the loss of muscle mass. Still my life continued very positively and here I am years later, a very vigorous 66. I truly do understand that in the scheme of things I am lucky.

I must remember to ask for an early time on Friday so I can do the March Madness marathon Matt has invited me to share. Try saying that three times fast. It’s going to be fun.